Indeed, the dark underbelly of FLOSS is truly ugly and horrible. I don't know the incident to which you are referring, but I am alas not surprised. There are only two FLOSS projects I am aware of that are female-welcoming, and that's Archive-of-our-own and Dreamwidth. The others at best are neutral.

I don't have much respect for projects that are deliberately elitist and newbie-hostile. Even though I'm not a newbie, they are unpleasant places to be, and I have no desire to contribute to them.